Fantasy

You're in my head all the time now... I tell myself it's time to let go... But when I start to analyze it I keep coming up with the fact that it's for all the right reasons... The problem with that is I'm a freak'n Sagittarius and you KNOW where our minds always lead! Then, well, shit, THEN I remember you're a Sag. too and that makes my brain just go all wacky. I think that if I finally get to meet you, especially in the 'state' I am now, I will be able to let go of the fantasy and maybe have a piece of reality to think about. Maybe re-spark the inspiration and admiration that you did before. The crazy straying thoughts may take me out of the mundane but I am then stuck with the fact that the mundane is my real life and very soon I really am going to just have to deal with it. If I ever get to hold on to a piece of the fantasy for real...it will last me a lifetime. I will not count on it EVER. I keep telling myself it won't EVER happen and all my efforts in trying to make it happen myself have fallen through over and over and only come across as selfish. I will never have you, but someday maybe I will find someone like you, someone who is everything a woman with a brain needs and wants in her life. Maybe it will be you and it will be the most awesome supporting, encouraging friendship I could think to ask for... that would truly be enough and a strong enough kind of love to sustain me for always.