How to write a letter...?

Okay, I'm blogging this because I want to write a letter to a person without coming off all fan-girly. I admire and respect this person more than any other person - EVER.
You know how in school, starting in like 1st grade they start asking you what you wanna be when you grow up? Or who your "idol" is? Who do you wanna be like when you grow up? I've never really had an answer for that. Seriously. I'm the oldest, so never named my siblings, I never named a family member, except in the absence of having a real answer and needing one or getting an 'F'.
I never really looked up to any celebrities or musicians either. I could say I was impressed with people say, like Aerosmith, or Richard Patrick, or anyone like that that came out of the drug and alcohol induced fog of their existence, survived and led others to do the same. But that was a place I'd never actually been, and wasn't really interested in trying to feel that other side. I still don't.
My point being that I stumbled upon this person, finding him to be everything I'm not, but would like to be, using his open heart and mind to not only stand up but REALLY FIGHT for what he believes in and it's carried over into thousands of other lives. I see evidence of this almost every day. Yes, he's beautiful to look at, but I very quickly saw past that when I started LISTENING to what he was saying.
Now, I am very close to accomplishing a goal I set for myself to at least get the opportunity to meet him. But I realize that realistically, that will probably last all of 30seconds, unless God throws a HUGE favor in my direction.

So, I decided that in order to be able to eventually say all I'd like to say, a letter, handed over hopefully personally, is the most likely the easiest way to go about this. But I don't know where to start. I want to sound appreciative and respectful, not like a crazed fan that I'm apt to do. Letters are not a strong point, usually coming out as a rambling rant or lots of complaining in most cases. Stories, when left to my own devices, however, I'm good at, as long as I can stay focused on the scene and not jump forwards and backwards a lot. Another thing I'm apt to do...hence the pause in the story I started about 3 months ago and haven't touched in 2 1/2 months.

Any Suggestions?

The Rut

Okay so again, I've waited a while before writing.... By asking the simple questions: What's your thing? & What do you really enjoy doing? a fellow blogger and dear friend reminded me that writing is such a pleasure for me. I have stories in my head all the time, but I never type them up.. wanting to keep them personal until I have them "finished" or am ready to do something with them. But, more often than not, I just let them go and can almost never remember them. Other times I'll get a start and write a few or even some serious pages but then my concentration is broken and I never get back to it. Sometimes I try to get back to it, but once the thread was broken I have to start all over anyway.

*sigh*


It's so frustrating sometimes..but then...


I have these days where I feel like I've been going in circles, so much, so often, that I'm actually created a rut, and I'm up to my neck and I think "If I don't do or change something NOW I'm going to be stuck here forever!" Lately I've just thought I'd like something drastic or crazy to come out of no where and give me a thrill. But that's not likely to happen. One thing I have learned is that you've got to make stuff like that happen yourself. You believe you can and it will, I've seen proof of it. I also know.. I'm a coward. Yep, I said it. C-O-W-A-R-D. I know what I want and I won't say or do the things that could potentially get me to it. The potential pain that could result is enough to stop this caged Sagittarius in her tracks. And it's been a permanent thing. The only time I've decided that enough was enough and made myself do something drastic and thrilling was when I took myself away from my home and moved to Myrtle Beach. I still have no idea how to do anything alone and under my own power. I never learned, I never tried. I know I'm missing something because of it. Where am I supposed to go from here?

London could be nice...

or NYC..

or Atlanta...

Wouldn't mind visiting New Orleans again...

Something deep down wants to help, I follow Richard Patrick (Filter) and Ian Somerhalder (the Vampire Diaries) both on Twitter, and it's a constant stream from them both about what's going on in the Gulf and against Bp... I know those tweets have caused reactions in people that have gotten off their butts to do something. And I sit here thinking...pick me! take me there! I want to help, but I have nowhere to start and I don't have any idea on what I could do. My plea's are a waste of time. And when it comes to that stuff apparently, so am I.

I get lost in dreams and wishes again, and am left in my rut, where I could be at least writing something other than this stupid blog... But I've got to let it out somewhere.

**SIGH**